i used baking grease as lip gloss
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
