You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
