Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
