He felt like a one man threesome
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
