I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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