Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
