so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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