Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
