Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
