Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
