WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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