she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
