i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Welp...herpes.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
should my penis look like a turkey
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
