In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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