i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
