there's paper in my vomit.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
