Jerry, you need to find god
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
