Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
