I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
