Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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