Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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