Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
