so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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