Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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