I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
