While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
