if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
