How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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