Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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