i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
