Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
