New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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