I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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