Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
