Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Please don't give away my fajitas
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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