Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
