i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
