my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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