Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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