I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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