you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just forgot I was standing up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
