Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
