At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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