I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
