Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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