I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
