Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
