But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
