how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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