it wasn't lemon gatorade
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
