24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
