Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
